A Night in the Box

Somehow a shirt that was Nathan's got into Lauren's drawer. I think it had been loaned to friends that had a little boy. I don't remember the circumstances, but it came back and was in Lauren's drawer. She wanted to wear it yesterday. She knew it had been Nathan's and she really wanted to wear it. It is very sad for me to realize that her connection to Nathan likely won't be very strong. She was so young when he died. It made me feel really good to see her wearing his shirt.

I think about Nathan a lot every day. Yesterday seeing Lauren in his shirt made me think about him all the more and several of those thoughts were warm and made me smile. The downside is that I had terrible, terrible dreams last night about Nathan's illness, treatments, and death.

I just posted on my Facebook status that I had a really good weekend with Julia and Lauren while Susan has been out of town. And I just wrote that I didn't really sleep well last night because of terrible dreams about my son's illness and death. Both things are true. Its a crazy fucked up world we live in.

Me: Lauren, what do you want to drink with lunch, milk or water?
Lauren: You know I always want milk.

Pause in conversation while I get the milk from the fridge.

Lauren: I changed my mind. I want water.

Julia: Can I go outside now?
Me: Sure. Get some shoes and socks.
Julia: I don't need them.
Me: I would like you to wear shoes and socks.
Julia: Its not a problem. I won't be doing anything that it matters.
Me: I'm not going to argue with you about this, Julia. If you want to go out you will put shoes and socks on and I don't want to hear another word about it.
Julia: I don't want to go outside anyway.
Me: You've been asking me to go outside all morning and now that I've told you that you had to wear shoes and socks you don't want to go?
Julia: It doesn't have anything to do with shoes and socks...and I'm not lying. I just want to do something else.
Me: Like what?
Julia (after a long pause): Read. I'm not lying.

I was walking out with Julia to the bus stop this morning and noted the toys strewn across the front yard, letf out from playing last night.

Julia: I was playing with that stuff with Lauren and Christian (neighbor/classmate/friend of Julia)
Me: Why didn't you put your toys away?
Julia: We went inside quickly. Christian was cold.
Me (jokingly): Wimp.
Julia: No. He's not a wimp.
Me: Were you cold?
Julia: No.
Me: Was Lauren cold?
Julia: No.
Me (again, jokingly): Wimp.
Julia (quite definsively): Christian is not a wimp. It is just that different people feel...(shoulder shrug)...different things.

Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer have announced an upcoming tour to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Spinal Tap.. Tickets go on sale for most of the shows in a couple of days. They are calling this the "Unwigged and Unplugged" tour and will play songs from Spinal Tap, the Spinal Tap cd Break Like the Wind, and music from the folk music inspired movie A Mighty Wind.

I saw Tap in all their heavy metal glory back in '92 or '93 and it was awesome. This won't be the full on metal spoof show, but it should be a lot of fun and quite humorous.


Coming to a city near you (tour dates)

Check out the video medley below. Hitting one of their shows would be worth it just for the acoustic version of Sex Farm.

I was driving with the girls and listening to music. I made some comment about wanting to be a rock star when I grew up, which drew the expected result of the girls telling me that I was already grown up. They took it an unexpected notch though when Julia told me that it was okay that I was already grown up and that I could be a rock star anyway. I explained how terrible I was at playing the guitar and that I couldn't sing and she just told me flat out that if I worked hard enough and practiced hard enough that I could become a rock star if that is what I wanted to be.

I don't really want to be a rock star and I don't even really intend to make any big leap of faith life changes. What struck me about the exchange is how wonderful it is to be taught life lessons from my children.